


Love is something I don't even know

by YNAD_77



Series: ATLA Femslash submissions [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, But not explicit, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inspired in Little Miss Perfect, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Light Angst, Mental Breakdown, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Repressed Feelings, Song Inpired, more like someone hit something and hurt their hand, no one is straight, or at least they try to repress it, sapphic katara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YNAD_77/pseuds/YNAD_77
Summary: When a pretty girl walks into Azula class she doesn't dare to utter a word, cause that would be absurd behavior for little miss perfect.OrWINTER ATLA FEMSLASH WEEK DAY 1: COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY AU & FIRST KISSKatara/Azula
Relationships: Azula/Katara (Avatar), Background Sokka/Zuko, Background Suki/Yue, Background Ty Lee/Mai - Relationship, Minor or Background Relationship(s), minor Azula & Zuko
Series: ATLA Femslash submissions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137944
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53
Collections: Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021





	Love is something I don't even know

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFOREHAND, THERE ARE SOME DELICATE SUBJECTS THIS FIC COVERS SUCH AS INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, IMPLIED CHILD ABUSE (Mainly on Zuko), AND IMPLIED SELF HARM (which is more like someone hitting something and getting their hand hurt in the process, but still)
> 
> Disclaimer, English is not my first language so if you see any typo or mistake please take in consideration I am doing my very best. You can find me on Tumblr like @ynad-77, I am always down to talk about anything really 💓💓
> 
> This fic is inspired by the song Little Miss Perfect, which in my opinion is THE song of Azula. Periodt 😊.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated. I hope you have a nice beginning of month 💕💕

Her low-heeled boots methodically filled the empty hall with soft clanks as she passed by. The emptiness of the hall did not pass unnoticed to her; even though the Sun hadn’t quite settled, and the birds were just beginning to wake up, people could have the decency to be on time the first day at least. Even more for a fricking elective; no one was obliging them to take a psychology course at freaking 7 a.m. Azula had never had a problem with waking up earlier than most, that way the day lasted even longer for her, and the more time she had, the most productive she could turn out to be, and that was everything there was, wasn’t it? What good was she if she wasn’t achieving the results her classmates could not even being to phantom if she wasn’t number one? 

As she opened the door to the still empty Lecture Hall the fresh air of the room fills her in; another advantage of putting your classes on the very beginning of the day was that one didn’t have to tolerate weird smells and messes other’s may leave behind them, Agni people nowadays didn’t have the mere sense of respect did they? She knew that eventually, she would have to have class after a hall being already used a couple of times and pencil chip people forgot to collect ( _Oh! Look a useless Garbage can!)_ and half-eaten apples left on desks would be unavoidable, but she would tolerate those for the _other_ classes, not from this one. Nothing would ruin this class for her; not the time, not the fact that that it was the furthest from her apartment than any other hall on campus, not January’s still cold weather that compelled most to stay in their beds and not get out until at least ten o’clock, not a thing at all.

Azula had waited too long to take this class to let anything ruin it for her, Psychology 101 had been, besides that a class that always filled up with way too much anticipation (only to be unsubscribed later by the grand majority who thought it was an easy course), a though course to convince her father to let her take. The last two years and a half had been exhaustive on a try to convince him to let her take this elective; long and restless nights had been the only partner Azula had had, exhaustion was a limit unknown to her, for if she dared to know it she wouldn’t have gotten as far as she had; her 4.0 GPA average was enough prove of that. Psychology, in her father’s eyes, was just as useless as going for an English degree as Zuko had. But she wasn’t Zuko, she was as dumb as to even dare to suggest from the beginning to major in something she knew her father wouldn’t support her in.; instead she suggested taking a small course if only to have a little taste of her childhood’s fantasy. And here she was, alone as the Lecture hadn’t even yet the teacher inside it.

Fine, maybe the excitement had gotten the best out of Azula this time and she had gotten a little bit more than just on time, she had gotten ten minutes earlier to what was a first hour in the morning class, but could you blame her? She was finally getting what she had wanted all along.

Now, do not misunderstand her, she… “Love” was a strong word and not a very suitable one to describe her relationship with her major, but she didn’t hate it though! Let’s just say she enjoyed her major, she really did and the fact that she had a future and a job holding on for her as soon as she was over with this was not a comforting thought as mediocre people would have taken it, but it was rather exciting if anything it was motivating. Azula was there with what seemed the sole goal to reach her father’s standards so he would, later on, entrust her with the task of elevating the family’s company.

It was no secret she would be the one inheriting Fang’s Industries, not even when Zuko had been on the board; because the way Azula saw it Zuko had never been a match to her, he was not even a player inside this little chess game that revolved around her life. But he wasn’t quite a spectator either, he was just a useless obstacle in the middle of her perfectly planned boxes, a pawn. She couldn’t just have gotten through him for he would have certainly put up a fight, one that he would have most certainly lost but a fight, nevertheless. Pawns could become dangerous pieces when they got awareness of their own power, a chance her dear brother never got. But that had been, of course, until before Father disinherit and banished from their ground, before fireplaces and screams begun hunting Azula in her dreams. Now, however, with Zuko out of the board, the path to her success seemed as clean as it could have ever been. And nothing would get in her way of getting what she wanted, not even a Psychology class her father found no good use to would make her back down on her plans, on the contrary, she would prove to her father she could make decisions on her own and succeed in those too.

She had everything she wanted in the palm of her hand, nothing could go wrong this semester, and if Azula had any voice in it, which obviously she did, it simply _would not_.

There was no way Azula would have missed the other presence along with her for two simple reasons; it was weird, like stupid weird, for someone else other than her to be so on time (or even earlier) other than, sometimes, the teacher; which wasn’t the case today. The other reason was that the other person there with her, at 6:56 in an empty lecture hall ready to take Psychology 101 was the prettiest girl Azula had seen in her whole life.

The early-riser girl was wearing a pair of mom jeans, a white turtle-neck, and a navy blue top over it. To cover her from the cold weather January could bring along it she was wearing a denim-fur-lined jacket on top. She was also wearing a pair of Fila white tennis Azula deeply despised but couldn’t quite find the reasoning behind why as she was them on her. Lastly, before reaching her face, Azula could notice a blue chocker and a white pendant hanging from it, upper, her hair was braided into two thin loopies from the front which connected to a single long thick braid on the back. The last and most important thing Azula noticed was her face, her fucking pretty face; a wide freckle nose above plum plump lips, both under hooded angular-shaped chestnut eyes. Same eyes that were looking at her with the same surprise Azula herself felt for having met with someone with the same sleep habits as her (or should she say lack of?). The girl’s make-up was nothing like hers; whereas Azula’s relied on sharp precise lines that could be found o her liner and her eyebrow and lack of blush but angles contour to accentuate her cheekbones and, the finishing touch, her signature red lipstick, the pretty girl’s was softer than hers; her brows messily brushed to make them look natural but on place, her long lashes only complimented heavenly the soft shade of shadow she wore. She wore no blush nor contour, the final touch was the gloss that covered her lips.

Azula had never in her life been so out of words. She had always prided herself on not being easy to surprise, on always having even the worse of situations under control. She had imagined once that if there existed a situation, she couldn’t have controlled it would be an apocalyptic one only, but the girl in front of her looked as far from the end of the word as she could: almost divine. It felt totally contrary to the end of the word; Azula felt as if a new one, along with her, had just born in front of her. and yet, she was out of breath. She hated this feeling, as if she was falling and there was nothing, she could hold a grip to; she didn’t dare to utter a word because that would be absurd behavior coming from her. Azula was not someone who reached out to people to start conversations, no, she _was_ people’s conversations. And if she wasn’t, people were trying to talk to her and not the other way around. So, she held to that thin last threat of control she could found upon the situation before her.

The other girls, despite clearly having caught on her presence, didn’t say a word either. _Well, rude._ Was that a blush on the other one’s dark skin??? No, Azula was clearly just imagining things trying to get herself the upper hand of the situation. How pathetic from her. She took a close seat to her, not because she wanted a better opportunity to look at her or nothing, but because she was too seated in the front row and everyone knew that the front row was the best place to sit on if you wanted good grades, the girl must be an overachiever as well. Luckily for them both, people started arriving (how quickly had 7:10 arrived?) along with the teacher and their gazes would soon to be lost among a sea of hundreds.

As the class went by Azula found it easier and easier to concentrate and put brown sparkling eyes on the bottom of her brain, right now what mattered the most was the syllabus explanation ahead. Azula could have easily been a nerd, weren’t she just so cool overall. Azula was pretty and stylish and didn’t have to wonder why other people may envy her, she was so very superior to them all after all; cause she not only had the looks to make anyone she wanted to fall at her feet, but she was also goddam smart and knew there was no one worth her while. As the teacher pointed out deadlines and important dates, Azula made sure to keep everything tracked on her agenda, she couldn’t help but to steal a glance to where the pretty girl was and catch upon her colorful markers and cheerful notes. _How childlike._ They were in college, for Agni’s sake, not fucking pre-school; she couldn’t help but to feel bad for the poor thing, no one would take her seriously like that. Oh well.

Class ended at 9 o’clock on point and while everyone cheered out of the room, Azula stood back for a while; as the successful future businesswoman, she was meant to be, made a point to introduce herself to the teachers and make a good first impression. She wanted them to expect nothing but perfection from her, as they should.

“Professor! Excuse me, I would like to personally introduce myself. My name is Azula Fang,” she said while extending her hand and hardening her grip against his. A firm handgrip was clue in the business world. “and I will be attending this class. I can assure you I am more than thrilled to be taking this course” So far she had kept it sincere, a weird trait to see in her. “I would like you to know you can expect great things from me, please do not be afraid to higher the bar with me, I can and will reach it. However, I know words mean nothing if they are not backed by actions; I am really looking forward to demonstrating it to you through the semester. Have a nice day.” She said with the less threatening tone she could come up with.

“I am looking forward to it as well, miss Fang.” The professor answered back. Azula took that personally as a challenge she intended to succeed in. 

Yeah sure, go ahead and laugh, call Azula the teacher’s pet behind her back all you want ( _I fucking dare you_ ), but, as any good business person could tell you, first appearances were gold, and Azula wouldn’t let herself get forgotten or worse, confused as just another mediocre student from here. Even though Azula liked things to go her way, she would hate it if she scared the teachers off and she got good grades out of their fear. No, she didn’t need them to be afraid of her for her to be the best.

Just as she turned to exit the room, she could spot a long braid making her way out in a hurry that could be for not getting caught. So, the pretty girl had been sneaking upon her, Azula smirked. It was no wonder, many people looked up to her after all, she couldn’t think this case to be any different.

Next, Azula exited the room and headed into the nearest restroom hall, once inside she didn’t even get the whole way in, but instead checked herself out in the mirror before going to her next stop. That was something Azula did a lot, check upon her appearance. It wasn’t without reason if she was to be the future of a powerful and rich company she couldn’t be careless with her image, image was everything on positions as high as she would have one day, she couldn’t let a single hair be out of place. So far, everything seemed to be in place; her black loose pants still as wrinkleless as when she had put them on (they were made out of the best fabrics, after all), her black belt still in place, just in the center the golden ornamented dragons of the buckle served as a nice touch from all the black, her black turtle neck and golden necklaces still on place, her red blazer still stainless and neat, her makeup still flawless. Her long two bangs still on the side of her face sharpening it, even more, her hair loose and straight as she had styled it in the morning, excluding her top-knot which was perfect as well; not a single hair out of place. As it should be.

The next two hours passed by quickly as her second class of the day begun, luckily for her, it was the first class in the Lecture hall as well, so far, her day was marching as well as she deserved. Third class; business ethics passed by as fast as a bolt of lightning in the sky. Within the blink of an eye, more than half of her first day had already gone by as she made her way to her next stop, lunch with her two best friends. She had known Mai and Ty Lee ever since junior high and they had stayed together through all high school and college so far. It wasn’t like it was cosmic luck but rather it had been planned for them since the beginning. Well, at least hers and Mai’s life had, Ty Lee just loved them so and had followed through. Ba Sing See’s University was the best college in all the four nations, there was no point in denying that, and Mai and Azula’s parents wanted the best for them for they were to be the future of their companies. So, they had stuck together through the plans adults had made upon them all along.

It was nice though, Azula couldn’t complain, she really cared and liked her friends. It had been hard for a while, Azula had never quite had a relationship with people her age or people overall, they were all just not enough for her. But then they had come along, and they had hit it right off… until they hadn’t. Senior year of high school had been the hardest for them all, especially cause Azula had been tired of being left aside by her friends when every year they would find prom dates and she would not. So, on senior year she made the goal to get a boyfriend and as everything Azula set her min on, she accomplished. The thing had been that Hann had been bad for her, she found herself wanting to make him like her more than anything and she would comply with everything he said just not be left without a prom date. Eventually, that had led to her tossing her friends aside for him and ignoring them when they said, “run as fast as you can from him” and she had stayed there to watch herself being burnt from a toxic love. When prom night arrived with a messy break up as its partner; Azula had been so ready to stay in her room getting drunk alone all night, but Mai and Ty Lee, the persons she had been a bitch to and all for a stupid boy, didn’t leave her to sink in her misery alone. That day, Azula had learned two things; boys were worthless pieces of shit and maybe, just maybe fear wasn’t necessary to keep Mai and Ty Lee close. She had softened her grip ever since. And she was thankful for that, ever since not having to worry about subduing her friends to like her things had improved so much among them, there were still some aspects that could be worked upon, but things were fine among them. If something, they were tighter than ever.

And that tightness involved lunch every day at 1 pm. But, don’t dare to assume Azula would be one to go to the university cafeteria, that place was full of students and filled with disgusting smells, besides why would someone with her importance be sitting in a university cafeteria among everyone else? No, instead they take their time to go off campus to a nice café or small restaurant and eat something expensive as they deserve. Today it was May’s time to choose and Azula wasn’t surprised by the place she had chosen; it wasn’t like the place per se, but where it was placed. Even if her brother had turned out gay and Mai was herself a lesbian, she still carried great affection for her high school sweetheart and remained good friends even after the accident. Mai liked checking on Zuko from time to time, who worked on the tea shop in front of where they were; The Jasmine Dragon was a small tea shop that had recently become quite popular among university students because its owner, her uncle Iroh, was a well humored old man who gave the wisest of advice when you were in need of them and always treated everyone like family. Everyone, of course, except her own niece. Also, there was a side fact that all the student body held a massive crush on Lu Ten, Azula’s cousin, who despite not working there officially sometimes he would visit and help his father, and people would often come in hopes that today was the day they could take their shot with him.

You see, Azula’s family history was complicated; dead mom when she was nine, his uncle and cousin left the business and went on a spiritual journey after a car accident nearly killed Lu Ten and they had gotten back _changed_ and dropped “for good” (Azula still thought of it as one of the most stupid decisions ever, but what could she expect from her uncle?) the family business when she was just eleven. That had been when her life had turned the most upside-down; cause now her father was the official owner of the whole thing and she became the heiress to the whole emporium (Zuko too, but it was a well know fact Father would have never let him succeed him). Then, when she was sixteen her brother was banished from the family, and Uncle Iroh had taken him under his own wing; she had hated her uncle ever since that day.

Sure, she had made her brother’s life a living hell and could be a manipulative bitch towards him sometimes, but that didn’t mean she actually hated him. Had she not covered for him multiple times? Hadn’t she been the one who had suggested Mai pose as a couple with her brother when she came out to her?? She could have suggested any boy, but she knew her brother needed a cover as well, father would have never forgiven him for _that_ and if he had burned half his face for much less she couldn’t even begin to think what would he have done if he knew Zuko was gay. The point was that she had cared for him _(she had called her uncle that day)_ and she wants to believe he had cared once for her too, but that had been until uncle took him in and they both completely tossed Azula to the side. Zuko was convinced Azula had told their father about his secret decision to go for an English degree, it hadn’t been her though, Father just wasn’t as stupid as Zuko had thought.

They hadn’t quite spoken to each other ever since. But that wasn’t what quite bothered Azula about her uncle, no, what really made him hate him was the fact that he had left her behind (and she was sure he was the one making her the villain in Zuko’s mind). Lu Ten still kept in touch with her, more out of courtesy than anything she knew, but it was nice to be remembered by at least one part of that family. Besides she had always been one of her favorite persons growing up, he never tried to baby talk her or treat her like a child despite being 7 years older than her. there had always been mutual respect among them, and it remained until nowadays.

Anyway, here they were, on a local coffee shop in front of the Jasmine Dragon. Azula just knew that Mai would stay behind a bit longer and visit Zuko or arrive earlier to do the same. She was almost grateful he still had someone else to look out for him, almost. Azula always lied, it was a trait rooted in her because that was the only way she knew to get what she wanted and get as far as she had gotten. So, she would lie even to herself and say she didn’t try to catch a glimpse of her brother from time to time.

—

The rest of the week happened with the same speed the first day had, except for Wednesday when time seemed to get slower during her psychology for the time she watched the pretty girl arrive. She had woken up earlier and beaten her just to watch her arrive, and when she did it was as if the time had slowed itself down just to watch her walk in. Other than that, the week seemed to be restless, she had already two essays and research to deliver for next week, among other less significant homework. Azula wasn’t much of plans during weekends since she mostly stayed inside her apartment or went to the library to study all day long so it was fine, or it would have been if Ty Lee hadn’t quite insisted on going to the party a fraternity was throwing; Mai could never say no to Ty Lee (because even if she didn’t say it out loud everyone knew just how much in love she was for her, Azula rolled her eyes at the mere thought, she had gotten soft; _weak_ ) and one thing led to another and they ended up convincing Azula on going to a stupid fraternity party.

Azula had never found the great appeal of teenage parties, much less college one’s; she knew what was the use in executive parties and she knew the correct etiquette for it, it fulfilled the purpose of meeting potential business partners but more important, potential business competition. But what was the purpose of stupid teenagers or young adults, in this case, getting drunk with cheap alcohol and nasty mixtures of Gatorade and Vodka only to end up throwing up or almost drowning in a fucking pool? And _do not_ get her started on the make-out’s, ugh gross. How could someone let a complete stranger just put their tongue up your throat or do whatever the hell people did inside closets for seven minutes. Just, no. _Gross_.

Nevertheless, she had agreed to go and that was how she found herself in her apartment surrounded by booze (“The alcohol in those parties is disgusting. I suggest we get at least somewhat tipsy beforehand so we don’t drink much there” Mai had said and Azula had never agreed to something as fast before in her life, besides another point in favor of getting tipsy beforehand was that the party would seem to be at least a bit more tolerable), make-up and her two best friends; who were right now on a rather compromising position.

“Mai! Stay still!!” Ty Lee commanded, but with her high voice didn’t sound much as it.

“Yes, Mai. Stay still” Azula repeated way more smudgy than Ty Lee had. You see, Mai wasn’t bad with make up herself, but she always asked Ty Lee to do hers when they were going out. _Gee, I wonder why._ Anyway, that was how she found herself now laying on the floor with Ty Lee over her doing her makeup. Azula could see Mai give her one of her toughs looks (but Azula was fully immune to those now) and blushing hard. Azula knew Mai knew that she knew, but in all fairness, anyone who paid attention to those two dumbasses for more than five minutes could know, except for them. Because make no mistake, Ty Lee was just as in love as Mai. And Azula was just left to bear and stare at how two of the most intelligent people she knew could be so fucking stupid around each other.

They arrived together at the party what in executive terms could be “fashionably late”, but somehow in college world people had managed to get already unbelievably drunk. Azula took the first drink she found and chug it in, it tasted terrible, but she was in need of a lot more alcohol if she wanted to barely tolerate the night. Sure, Azula drank, because what spoiled rich kid whose parents were multimillionaires and didn’t pay much attention to them didn’t drink? But she would never, ever in a million years be found in such position as the girl who had just gotten out of the restroom with fresh vomit in her blouse or the light-headed wimpy kid with lines painted all over his face with, what Azula presumed to be, permanent marker, that could be seen in one of the sofas already passed out. Agni forgave her if she ever was even half as bad as them in public, she had a reputation to maintain after all. And if she wanted to get pass-out-drunk she would do it in the safety the four walls of her apartment provided, not in public as a fucking idiot.

“Oh, Ty Lee!! I am so glad you made it!” said a girl as she spotted her. She was pretty, she had auburn hair on a bob cut, a nice red makeup over her eyes with contrasted over her pale, freckled make-up-less skin. A piercing in her nose and the flannel around her waist was enough for Azula to know that this girl could not be straight (also Ty Lee’s friends rarely were).

“Suki!! Thanks for telling me about this, I brought some friends!”

“Oh, great! Hi, I am Suki. Let me introduce you all to my friends. C’mon Ty Lee, you are going to love them!” she said while taking Ty Lee’s arm and pulling her through, Ty lee took Mai’s hand against her own and dragged her as well. Azula managed to escape the whole charade and the last thing she saw was Mai’s face begging for her not to leave her on her own to meet these new people Ty Lee seemed so excited about. Her begging stare quickly changed into a murderous one as soon as she realized that Azula was not going with her. Instead, she stayed behind and looked around, she needed another drink.

As she was walking towards the kitchen Azula could see a way to familiar shape; in the almost five years they hadn’t kept in touch with each other, Zuko hadn’t changed a bit, except for the now healed scar that decorated the left side of his face; his hair had gotten longer as well, it was past his shoulder now. Okay, maybe he _had_ changed, but Azula knew this from soft espionage over the Jasmine Dragon, besides they attended the same school it wasn’t like the first time she was seeing him, but it was the first time she was seeing him with an expression other than his usual angry one. This Zuko, the Zuko in front of her looked smitten. She carefully tried to follow his gaze until she found the subject of his enamored look; it fell upon a tall, dark-skinned boy who wore a white shirt and a baby blue jacket on top, his jeans way too tight for Azula’s like but apparently just right for Zuko’s eyes, he wore his hair on a wolf tail with a shaved undercut underneath it. Azula couldn’t quite find what her dumb brother was finding so mesmerizing (Agni, if Zuko stared any longer he might start to drool), sure he was conventionally attractive, but he just wasn’t Azula’s type, she had a fine taste after all. But something in him seemed almost familiar.

Azula couldn’t let pass an opportunity to tease her brother like this, it had been handled to her on a silver plate, it was just too good to let it get away. So, careful of not revealing her presence just yet, he got close enough to him.

“Careful Zuzu, your bad taste is showing.” She said as she saw how she shattered her brother’s daydreaming. Quickly, as his stare turned to her, it changed into his usual angry one.

“What are you doing here Azula.” He asked in that accusatory tone of his. Zuko was just so easy and fun to tease, he always had been.

“Oh, you mean on a party. Organized by a fraternity of the school we both attend? Gee, I wonder what.” Zuko’s ear tips got red, whether, for anger or shame for having come up with such a dumb question, Azula didn’t care, it looked like her job here was almost done.

“How is your English major going?” she teased again.

“How is your major on being a massive bitch going?” _Uh, rude!_ Not like she cared; it was true she was being mean to him just because she could.

“Oh, chill for once Zuzu. I think you should take your shot with the pretty boy over there, who knows, maybe he thinks scars are a badass look.” And with that, she left. Maybe she had been meaner than usual to her brother, but in all fairness, he never seemed to put from his part to establish among them a nice conversation for once.

After that brief interruption, she resumed her original task in hand: get more alcohol. And just as Azula was thinking this party had been a waste of time and starting to get awfully bored, she walked by. Her pretty girl from Psychology class was there, with her long brown hair loose but keeping the loopies and a make-up a bit more dashingly than what she saw on Monday and Wednesday. Also, her outfit was in tune for the party, which meant she was wearing a white turtleneck underneath a blue dress that reached just above the knees. Azula thought that no little black dress could ever compare to her blue one.

“Who are we watching?!” Ty Lee came up from behind her out of nowhere, Azula repressed a yelp. She had gotten so fascinated with this girl she had almost forgotten where she was and the world that surrounded them both.

“No one! I am looking at no one, Ty Lee. Weren’t you with your friends?” she asked with a tone a bit meaner than what she intended to.

“Azula, but you are my friend! Besides Mai send me to look out for you for a beer pong match, we are missing one person.”

“Ty Lee, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I don’t like-“

“We are playing against your brother.” She interrupted her. Azula shut suddenly up and changed her mind just with that simple phrase.

“Say no more!” she said as she accepted Ty Lee’s hand and let herself be guided.

In the ping pong table, the plastic cups were already accommodated into a triangular form and Mai carried along her usual fed-up face. Across the table, the boy Zuko had been staring at before was accompanied by Ty Lee’s friend, Suki, and a white-haired girl Azula recognized from some of her Business classes, Yue was her name if she wasn’t mistaken.

“Finally,” Mai dramatically sighed, as if they had been gone for long. A crowd seemed to be gathering around; from what Azula could get the guy (whose name’s was Sock or something like that, she couldn’t get something clear from everyone talking around and the music blasting from the speaker) was a pretty nice player or held upon him some kind of popularity. He must be on the football team as most of the people that cheered for him were players. If the guy held fame for being good at beer pong beating him would clearly be a satisfactory win.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said. The game started and while at first luck and advantage had played on Azula’s side, the fewer cups there were the tighter it was becoming for both of them. It got to a point in which there was only one cup left from each team and everyone got almost quiet. Azula had the ping pong ball, she held it against her fingers, displaying her fine manicured long red nails, the guy, Sokka was challenging with his eyes, she smirked. She could see through anyone’s façade and, no matter how confident he wanted to appear, Azula could see, more than fear, the knowledge that he was about to lose against her.

At the least opportune moment, Azula’s sight loses focus and finds the pretty girl behind him, looking at her with expectant eyes. Azula loses control and throws the ball just a second too late to realize her concentration in the game had been lost in those big brown eyes of her. But Azula was born lucky, it was something her father always told her, and right now was proof of it; despite the last-minute distraction she managed to shot the ball into the last plastic cup, earning her and her team a nice victory.

“Yes! We defeated you! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame!” her victory cry got lost among people’s celebration for them.

Ty Lee’s loud excitement seemed to cover for the lack of Mai’s She hugged them both while Mai just shrugged as if winning meant nothing and chugged the last cup with beer. Azula turned to look for the pretty girl but she seemed to be gone by now. Maybe coming to this party hadn’t been quite a terrible idea, after all. Regret would maybe come to her the next day, along with an aspirin and a terrible headache, but for now she let herself enjoy the moment and get a little bit too lost on the memory of the pretty girl of her Psychology class.

—

When Azula doesn’t hear Katara’s name being the first one to be called out when the teacher is handing them their second quizzes, she can almost breathe again. This class was by far one of the most difficult Azula had taken; part of the difficulties involved the great amount of work the teacher left, plus the quizzes, plus the essays, plus the exams. However that had never been a problem for Azula, but after everything she had graded and turned back Azula had begun to notice a pattern; she returns the assignments by alphabetical number, essays by lowest to highest grades, and quizzes by highest to lowest. So far when quizzes and essays had been returned there had been an ongoing tension among Katara and Azula, that was how she had come to know her name; it was always one of them on top; Azula was used to being top of her class with the second-best far away from her, but now Katara was hot on her heels or worse, she was on Katara’s heels. She had never been in second place, but it was even worse when she was so close to being the first one. Katara must have felt this tension as well, for the competition had begun officially one day when they received the same grade and both girls tried to make the teacher tell them which essay had been better. So today as the teacher is handling the quizzes and doesn’t hear Katara’s name come up first she is relieved until she realizes it is neither her name that is being called on first. Okay, maybe second. Both girls wait but none of their names is being called out until at least eight names after the first one. Maybe the teacher had realized Azula and Katara had figured the pattern and changed it, yes, that must be.

It hadn’t been the case. When she is called an awful 73 circled in red decorates the corner of her essay. Behind hers, she can catch a glimpse of Katara’s with the exact same fucking grade. _Great_. Not even her worst grade was better than hers. But there was no time to think about that when the matter in her hands held much more weight. Azula had gotten a 73. That was a grade that was nearer to fail than to be a 100. A 73. Azula had never, ever gotten a grade as low and much less from an essay. Azula wasn’t even second-best, she was mingled among the mediocre people of her class, people who would settle with just a pass, people who didn’t have their future strategically planned beforehand.

Azula had to come up with a solution and fast. She had spent the last five minutes recollecting her thoughts and all of her classmates had already gone and the professor was halfway done picking their stuff up and leaving. She reached to their desk at the same time Katara did. Both girl’s eyes met, while Azula felt a burning rage consuming her from the inside Katara’s expression denoted the exact opposite; tears had begun to form in her eyes and she felt really let down. Even if they didn’t coincide with their feelings at the moment, they both had a common goal.

“Professor excuse me. Before you leave, Katara and I had a subject we would like to discuss with you. It is about our grade in the last essay. We are not satisfied with the grade given and we would like to know if there were any chance of you giving us some kind of extra credit for some extra word, as well as feedback.” Usually, begging was so beneath her, she had never asked for things from such a low power position. She had asked things to her father, but no one else had ever even been worth it for her to downgrade to that level. But she was now. Maybe she would have been ruder about it and demand a second examination, there was no way her essay deserved a 73, but Katara was there. And not only was she present but was present and on the verge of tears; while she didn’t actually know her, she doubted shouting at the teacher and being a bitch about her note would brig the other girl any kind of comfort. So, she switched to the second best thing she knew how to do: negotiate.

The teacher seemed to think for a moment as just as denial crossed his mind, Katara barged in.

“I think we both deserve it, sir. We have nothing but proven to you what we are capable of, this was just a slip that will not happen again. But you must understand, there is no way we can recover our overall average with such a low note on such a heavy assignment. Not without a little help.” Azula was impressed, she would have never been caught dead trying to negotiate with the truth, much less when said truth evoked weakness and desperation. She would never let the other person they yielded more power over her; it was a terrible technique. However, accompanied by Katara’s lame tone and her watery eyes ( _nice touch_ ) it seemed to be work because the professor looked as if he were to reconsider it and come up with a conclusion.

“All right. You are right, you have proven to me you are good students and I cannot begin to express how much it pained me for you to deliver such poor essays. I will give you the sole and unique chance to upgrade this, and only this, grade. For your extra credit, you will have to deliver me a 10-page essay on a topic of your choice, you have to explore at least three of the theories that will be reviewed in class and I expect it on my desk the last day of classes before three o’clock with both your names on it. And that’s it, that is my final decision. Good morning ladies. “

And with that, he left.

Katara must have been feeling as shaken as her. Even though an opportunity, a solution had been offered to them to repair their terrible note, the solution sucked, for two main reasons. First of all, Azula didn’t do teamwork for a very simple reason: People. Were. Stupid. There was no way she would rely on someone else on her grade, no one was as smart as her, that was why when obliged to work in teams Azula was the boss. She liked the power that came with bossing people around, and all her business classmates have got to know her well enough for them to be afraid of her; they always did the things just as she liked, fearing the consequence of the contrary. But Azula had not asserted any kind of dominance over Katara yet, in fact, it had been quite the opposite: she had actively recognized her as competence and, in the process, as her equal. There was no way Katara wouldn’t stand her ground if Azula tried to boss her around and that was her own goddamn fault, but she had never expected to work in a team in this class, she thought she could not do that extra effort for once and it had come back and bitten her in the ass. The second reason why this sucked was maybe the worst; Azula didn’t know how to socialize with a girl as pretty as Katara. Azula had always taken pride in her neat image, she had never considered herself insecure, she was too narcissistic for insecure. She knew what she had, a nice body, a beautiful face, nice manicured hands, pretty lips, and more things. _She was fucking hot okay?_ Then why did being around Katara made her so nervous? It was a mystery for her. They didn’t even look alike! There was no way to compare each other because they were very different one from another. Katara had softer edges whereas Azula liked hers as sharp as they could be, Katara’s hair was brown and wavy like and sometimes messy, hers on the other hand, black and straight. Katara was a different kind of beauty from her. If she was a thunderstorm, the lightning against a black sky, Katara was the light of the moon against relentless ocean waves. There was simply no way to compare herself, so she didn’t bother; she wasn’t insecure about her. But she felt nerves crawling up her skin every time she looked at her. how was she supposed to survive working with her if she couldn’t even bear the electricity that came from looking at her sitting close to her?

She would manage. She had to. Katara had voiced out loud her fears before; the quiz had a heavy value on it and there was no way she could save her final grade with that 73 for a score. She needed at least an 85 in everything she delivered to prove to her father that she could handle things on her own without messing them up. So, if she had to bear the other girl until the end of the semester, then so be it.

“Can I have your phone?” Katara interrupted her train of thought for the second time that day. She seemed to be full of surprises, wasn’t she?

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, give me your phone so I can register my number. Here, I’ll give you mine.” She said as she took out her phone and handed it to her. Azula copied her. 

Katara’s phone was no last generation like hers was, and the case was a nice transparent one. She tipped her cellphone number into it and her name and gave it back. Katara told her to get in contact with her so they could fix the day of the week to work on. She had just nodded, still, a bit mesmerized about the “Katara 🌊✨💙” her phone now contained.

—

“Hey Azula, could you stay for a bit after class?” Katara asked her the next Monday. Terrific.

“Sure.” She answered back.

It wasn’t like she had been avoiding Katara, but she hadn’t gotten as early as she used to not wanting to face her alone. The truth was that Azula had hoped for Katara to text her and fix a day or something, but her text had never arrived. And when she had tried to text first nothing comes out just right. “Good Morning Katara, I write with the purpose to fix a date for our psychology project. I am looking forward to your reply, Azula” was just too much, but she couldn’t go with something as vague as “gd mrng, when do u wanna met? uwu” because Agni forgave her if she wrote like that. But she didn’t want to come off as too stiff and neither as a complete loser. The truth is that it wasn’t like Azula had many friends to talk to; Mai and Ty Lee were very used to her correctness even in text and she didn’t have to worry when chatting with them when she had a group project or an appointment with someone else she texted on the way she talked, correct and mean. But she really didn’t want to start with the wrong feet with her, especially considering she was stuck with her for the whole semester.

She could have taken the initiative to talk to her in person first. In fact, she regrated not having done it first at least she would have gotten a certain advantage over her and started some kind of control, but no, she had backed up and now she was being talked to and not the other way around. Awesome.

Nevertheless, she did as she promised and stayed behind after class, Azula tried to put her focus on something else that wasn’t precisely her because the electric feeling hadn’t quite left her.

“So, I was wondering what day could work better for you? I can on Tuesdays and Thursdays mainly, but I could maybe adjust on other days.”

“What about weekends? Do you live nearby?” Azula asked

“Well, yeah. But I was hoping we could avoid touching Friday, Saturday, and Sunday you know? Unless it were super necessary. I live in the dorms, don’t you?” Azula chuckled. Common dorms? With dumb rules and activities to follow? And common bathrooms? No thank you.

“No, I have an apartment nearby. Thursdays work fine by me.”

“Great! Maybe we could meet on the library’s second floor.”

“How about we go to a more casual place? We both could come already prepared and we just focus on writing the most important things down and not waste more time than we already have to.” Azula suggested, she really hated the poor respect people had for the library and how noisy it could get.

“Works fine by me.” Said Katara in a stiffer tone while crossing her arms. “So, Thursday exactly where?”

“I’ll send you the address through a text. 5 pm, don’t be late.” And with that Azula left. She recognized the talk could have been better, there were certain moments Katara had looked annoyed by her, but it was fine, overall. She didn’t completely mess up and there was still a way to regain complete control of the whole thing, there was still place to be one step ahead. Besides the detail on being both prepared beforehand had been a nice touch she had thought on spot, there she had a clear opportunity to come more prepared and impose her way. She would succeed in the task.

She had arrived earlier to send Katara the ubication and Katara had arrived at 5 pm on point. It was a nice coffee outside the school and just far enough away from the jasmine dragon; the reason for this is was because Azula didn’t want her mind wandering off to her family and getting distracted in front of Katara, giving her leverage in the process. But if she felt honest she could even have admitted that there was another reason to go on the opposite direction as far from the tea shop as she could; even though she wasn’t doing anything wrong she wouldn’t blame Zuko if he found this situation to be blackmail material and why wouldn’t it be? It looked compromising for her; Azula didn’t have friends other than Ty Lee and Mai and it was no secret she didn’t do… this, she didn’t invite pretty girls to have coffee with her to discuss team projects and she didn’t want to know what her family could conclude from that.

Azula knew it was a mistake to underestimate Katara, she was a woman who learned from her past mistakes and didn’t stumble over the same stone twice. But damn it was hard to realistically admit how good Katara was; she had thought she had done extensive research of the subject yet to cover and came up with a couple of ideas on how to apply them, but Katara hadn’t been left far behind; she came ready for the business beforehand; sticky notes, highlighters, half a dozen of books bookmarked, an empty binder ready to be filled with just this project and a thousand colorful markers.

They skipped small talk of any sorts and went straight down to business. Katara was… captivating to say at least. Azula didn’t seat close enough in class to watch her studying technique so she found herself entranced by it. Screw that, Azula was entranced by the whole person overall; Katara was as different from her as one could be, while Azula had centered her research of analysis on things like killers, sociopaths, and crimes Katara had gone to the “Morality-the man is good by nature” kind of path. While Azula complained and pointed unrealistic things in Katara’s research the other girl gave positive feedback to hers and complement it with a broader point of view. While Katara had a very strict color scheme (“orange highlights are for dates, yellow is for concepts, pink is for my own insight and green is for things I find difficult to memorize”) Azula was more of a monochromatic black kind of girl (“And if you want to highlight something?” “I can accept a pen red as well”). Their careers laid in completely opposite spectrums, Katara was studying Non-profit management (a career Azula hadn’t even heard about) and Azula was trying to expand her father’s business. Even in looks, Katara’s look was more carefree and centered around a soft blue palette, and hers were sharp, polished, ones with red-black-golden tones. The contrast between them reached its peak in their ways to be, the problem relied upon that Katara was ultimately good, and nice, and kind. Azula wasn’t any of that, she was cunning, mean, and could even be cruel when she wanted to. Had it been anyone else Azula would have completely dragged them for that, but it was Katara who was like that and she was pretty, and intelligent, and smart, and so fucking nice that Azula couldn’t find it in herself to actually hate her for that, she had tried but it had instantly failed. Katara was so far from Azula as one could be, in every single sense. And that just drove her more in.

It would have been so easy for both girls to repel each other for all that, but somehow nothing did. Not even when their discussions took a less friendly tone or when the competition among them kept going. As the semester advanced, they just found it was easy being with one another. Azula knew sometimes Katara judged her meanness and lack of nicety just as much as Katara knew she judged her idealistic point of view and called it naivety, but the thing was they didn’t feel judged in a bad way, there was a deep and rooted respect for it to be an actual judgment; it was more of an understanding of sorts in which even if they didn’t agree with one and another they _respected_ each other’s point. Azula would never apply Katara’s philosophy of being “good and nice for the sake of it”, but she could accept it just was for her; Katara was sincere, she trusted Azula and didn’t want anything else from it. So when Azula discovered that Katara was good just because, the thing she had previously believed impossible to find, sure she judged it but she knew that if someone could really be good and nice for the sake of it, it was Katara: nice Katara, sweet Katara, pretty Katara, “I saved you a seat” Katara, kind Katara, pretty-eyes Katara, “I have a new highlight for you, its blue” Katara. Just Katara. Katara.

Holy fuck.

Fuck. She was utterly and undeniably fucked, wasn’t she? She had grown so fond of Katara and how could someone not? When she was just so… well, she was Katara. Azula had never felt as appealed for no one in her life before and it would be fucking scary hadn’t it been intoxicating as well. She knew that if she wanted to put an end to _… whatever the hell_ this newfound feeling was she would have to stop herself from gravitating towards her, but she just couldn’t. Worse, she didn’t want to. And why would she? Katara made her feel listened to and not because she had to, but because she had a real interest in what Azula had to say. Katara made her feel safe as if nothing she said would be ever used against her and that gave Azula new freedom to just be herself. Katara made her feel warm on cold days but cool on the hot ones. Katara made her feel somehow special. But it was so different from what she felt when she was with Mai or Ty Lee that were her friends as well, they were her friends and she cared for them. But with Katara, it just didn’t feel the same way. With Katara, she felt… all kinds of rights and wrongs, her heart fluttered, shook, and bent in all kinds of new ways. And she enjoyed it. She enjoyed having Katara in her life. But what about it? She wouldn’t know what to do about it and, even if she wanted to, it wouldn’t be proper coming from her.

—

When Katara cancels her, at 4:55 on a Thursday, Azula is beyond mad. Firstly, no one cancels _her_ in such little advance; her time was a valuable thing in her life, that she barely gifted to others for them to waste it in such a disrespectful manner. Besides, it was their time together; other than those little talks disguised as school work on Thursdays, Azula and Katara barely talked outside their psychology class, it kind of hurt for Azula to lose that precious time with the other girl, especially on such a short notice and even more when she waited all week for Thursdays to arrive. So, she decided the matter into her own hands; she would not sit and mourn missing time with her friend just because the other had been messy enough not to give her the time she deserved.

Katara had told her once that she was roommate with the dorms RA, the same girl she beat up at ping pong at the beginning of the year _(so, Katara had been looking)_ whose name was Suki. She knew Suki by name, it was one of the teammates of Ty Lee’s cheerleader team. It wasn’t hard to find their room, Azula had wandered through these halls before to get to Ty Lee’s room. And it definitely was super easy to find the RA’s room, it had her name and everything on the outside, very friendly. She knocked on the door twice. She didn’t quite expect Katara to be there, but instead to acquire information of her whereabouts so she could later go and face her directly on her lack of professionalism and disorganization. But it was the same girl she was mad about whom answered the door.

Katara looked bad. And that said something coming from someone who got easily distracted by the other’s beauty, but there was no lying now, Katara looked _bad_. But bad didn’t quite cover the overall of her aspect. She wore a pair of gray sweatpants with a white crop top over it as the weather now allowed such items. Her hair was a frizzy mess, her usual braids were nowhere to be found except for her loopies, which got lost in the nest of a hair her friend had. The worst was her face; she wore no make-up on but that wasn’t what made her say she looked bad, Azula knew Katara was beautiful nevertheless, but her eyes were red and swollen as if she had been crying for a while now. All of her initial anger dispels as Azula felt her heart break, what on Agni’s same had happened for Katara to look like that? Most importantly, what was the name of the person whose life she needed to ruin?

“Agni, what happened to you?” she asked in a tone that could have been a lot nicer, but it was already a habit. And either Katara hadn’t noticed or hadn’t care, because, on a second she was pouncing her arms to her and pulling herself into Azula’s embrace.

Azula just froze in there, she didn’t quite know what to do. When had it been the last time anyone hugged her so freely? Mai wasn’t much of affection displays; she showed her love more through actions than anything else, much less physical. And Ty Lee, while she was clingy, she wasn’t much of a hugger (at least not since she realized her feelings for Mai and now, she took any chance she got to hug her). Her father? Don’t make her laugh. Her father was almost never around, always busy with work and when he was, well… let’s just say he wasn’t there to hug Azula or anything like that. Maybe it had been Zuko or her mother, whoever it had been was such a long time ago she couldn’t even remember who exactly it was. So, excuse her if she doesn’t quite know how to reciprocate and lasted frozen in place longer than comfortable. But Katara didn’t seem to mind, she kept clinging to her and letting quiet tears roll down her face, Azula could tell because she felt her neck getting wet. She did the best she could come up with and patted Katara’s back, she didn’t dare to utter a word though. Her hands moved to the other’s head as she passed her hand through it, it was messy and tangled, but still soft. They stayed that way until could finally control her own breath again. She broke the hug and looked Azula right in the eyes, then as she was raising her hands to clean her tears Azula felt the uncontrollable impulse to win her to do it. Win her thumb she cleaned Katara’s face from her tears while she cupped her face with the rest of her hands.

“Katara, what happened?” she softly asked. Azula looked embarrassed.

“I-… it’s stupid, really. I am just stressed, I guess. I am sorry for canceling you.” She said, her eyes wouldn’t leave the floor.

“Katara, nothing that is about you will ever be stupid for me. Now, are you alone? Can I come in?” that made Katara look up _(was she, was she blushing?!)_ and nod.

Azula made her way into her room and looked for a place she could sit on. Agni, Azula had forgotten how much she hated whoever designed the dorms; who in their right mind would put a window in between two beds that were set too high for anyone to comfortably crash in, two desks and two closets in such a fucking tiny space. _Agni dear, did the architect knew the term “personal space”?._ Besides, because of school policy they couldn’t quite paint the walls or put things up that would end up damaging the painting so instead, they gave them an ugly corkboard. All things considered, Azula had seen worse rooms than Katara’s; her board was full of pictures and she had decorated as she could with tiny lights. Other than that, Katara’s room looked just like her: a mess. There were binders everywhere, along with pens and markers, some brochures there and there and small cards. Azula knew Katara wasn’t a messy one, so the mess was probably related to her tears. She climbed the bed and sat down, then she patted in the spot next to her so Katara would come to sit too. The other girl did as she was told.

“Okay, now, tell me what got you like this.”

“It’s just… I am very stressed okay? You know how I am part of the SEA organization, right?” Azula nodded. “Well we have a big event coming up tomorrow and our logistics and merch team totally screwed up. We were supposed to have some kind of coverage from a local newspaper, but they got all confused and messed the whole thing up. In addition to that, they printed the whole stunts for tomorrow wrong and now I have to go over the design because they just quitted and…”

“Breath. There, there. What is the strict priority here?”

“The impressions. They close at eleven, but I have an issue there with the finances team which won’t give me the money I need to get these posters done and-“

“Katara, shut up! I am offering you my help so forget about them. Screw them. You and I are going to fix this, now, focus on the design of the posters and have them ready before seven. I am doing some calls in the meantime, all right? “

“But the finan-“

“Katara, focus. Poster’s design. Now!” Azula had almost never used that tone with her friend, but with everything that was happening around her she could use some control, and if she was an expert in something was on getting things done, no matter the circumstance or the pressure she might be under, in a controlled way.

And that’s what she did; she made sure Katara was directing her whole energy on the posters while she collected some favors people owed them. Business water’s were never clear and she knew this beforehand, sure she had never done anything _illicit_ in explicit terms (because her father didn’t actually let her officially contribute to the company until she had her degree) but that didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of them or that she didn’t know her way around that _world_ ; she was the best digging up information from places people didn’t want other digging in which had made her of a few _alliances_ which would come in handy today.

Long story short the thing had gone this way; the daughter of a news channel had gotten into some kind of mess last spring, which had been recorded by someone Mai knew. The only thing Azula had needed to do was get rid of the evidence in the phone and the cloud (which of course, hadn't been easy but Azula had more than one trick under her sleeve) and suddenly she and the News Channel owner had become _very_ good friends. That was Azula’s game, she rarely started it, but she sure knew how to end it, for a favor in return. Originally, she had been saving that favor for when she inherited the company; she wanted the best coverage of course. But there was still time to win another favor back and Katara was the one who could use it this time. It had been a long process which lasted almost three hours, but in the end, she got a reporter to cover the news on paper, a few cameramen for the website news, and an interviewer who would interview Katara in the morning. She could have gotten television cover, but she knew it would seem suspicious and unlikely for students to get, also they didn’t have the school’s permission for that.

Azula could understand Karata, she was part of the directive table of the business group and knew how these things went, especially when you made the stupid mistake to actually trust your team and expected them to do it the good way. However, she understood this was beyond Katara’s responsibilities in the group and they had let her carry with their responsibilities along with their mistakes. How coward from them. She would get their names and make sure they would endure a living hell for the rest of their fucking career, and not even that would compensate Katara’s tears.

At 9:37 Katara ended the posters and Azula called an Uber. She could tell Katara was still thinking about how she was going to pay for all these impressions despite Azula having already told her she would solve it for her. When they arrived, they printed everything they needed and more (“Azula I just need those three-“ “It is better if you come with some backup, just print them.”). When the whole thing ended, they got back into Katara’s room where, to her surprise, Suki was nowhere to be found. According to Katara, it was pretty common, most times it was easier to find Suki in her girlfriend’s room rather than in hers.

Azula helped Katara organize her room, she knew her well enough to know in which case the markers went and so. It didn’t take them long; by 12:30 the whole thing was fixed and done. Azula couldn’t believe how long it had taken them but she wasn’t complaining, she had spent more time with Katara than any other common Thursday, even if most of that time she had been immersed in her computer dealing with a poster design and she had been negotiation over the phone. Her company had been… nice, it felt present even if they weren’t directly talking to each other.

“It’s pretty late, do you have classes in the morning?”

“No, I start at 11 tomorrow. You?”

“At nine, but I am skipping in order to set this whole thing up. Do you want to stay?” Azula almost choked on her own spit. Apparently, her surprise had been reflected on her face for Katara said next;

“If you want, of course. It is pretty late and I wouldn’t like you walking alone to your apartment.” Azula didn’t say she could call another uber. She kept quiet for a little longer as if she hadn’t quite made up her mind.

“Suki won’t get mad, being friends with you RA has its advantages, you know?”

“Do you want me to stay?” Azula asked.

“I-… yes.” Katara answered back and it must be in her mind the rose-tone her cheeks got. Azula nodded and finally both girls smiled.

As any college student, Katara didn’t just have spare teeth brush around, but she always carried one in her purse. What Azula did got from Katara was a set of fresh pants and a Badgermoles Football team t-shirt as pajamas. Even if she was used to finer things she couldn’t complain when it smelled like her. The bed was small, even more when she was used to big beds for her own, however, she couldn’t complain when Katara’s body was tangled with hers that way. They slept facing each other and Azula could have stared at the way Katara’s face gleamed underneath the moonlight. But she didn’t, and eventually she too fell asleep.

As she was falling asleep Azula couldn’t help but to wonder if Katara was aware of the power she held against her. It wasn’t a secret, not after today and not even she could deny that she would do anything Katara asked her to. Did Katara knew this? She didn’t know, but something inside her told her that if she did she would never use it against her. her secret was as safe as she felt with the arms of the other girl around her. 

When Azula woke up to an empty room she couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed, that was until she saw a coffee and a pastry waiting for her next to her purse along with a note that said: “Had to leave, srry. Thx 4 everything! -Katara.” Sure, it wasn’t the best note in the story of notes, but it was the first Azula ever woke up to and she couldn’t help but to feel a little soft.

Her day went as usual as Fridays were with the exception that she went to see Katara’s event, it was kind of a big deal and she had promised even before last night that she would attend. She got just in time for Katara’s speech, something about saving the environment and all that. Azula had never actually found particular interest in that, but Katara was passionate about it and she couldn’t help but to stare. Katara’s eyes shined with fire as she impeccably delivered each and every word and Azula felt so relieved she had helped yesterday if she got to see this version of Katara today. It was truly inspiring what she said because she could tell she meant it and she put every bit of her heart into it, she looked dazzling; happy. Azula had never felt better to contribute into someone else’s happiness. It was weird because all her life she knew what she had to do to please her father; how to act, what to say, and what to do but she rarely found such joy while doing so, this, on the other hand, Azula could tell she would do it again and a thousand times if it brought Katara a joy like that, she felt good being even the tiniest responsible for that joy.

Azula decided that congratulations where on place, and just as she was reaching the podium, she recognized Zuko approaching Katara too. Worse, it was Zuko with that guy he had been drooling over at the party and a small group of friends: Suki as there as well. Azula just stopped walking, turned around, and left. In the way out, just as she was about to send Katara a congratulations through text she felt someone grab her wrist.

“Hey! Are you leaving?” she was faced against Katara big brown eyes and a cheerful smile.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to interrupt your time with your friends. They must be very proud of you as do I” she answered back. She didn’t want to explain the whole “Me and my brother hate each other, and I don’t want to ruin your moment. Also, it makes me feel weird that he gets to have a boyfriend, how about if we don’t get into that?” thing.

“Nonsense! They will love you, c’mon!” She said as she pulled her through the crowd. The closer they got the more the anxiety in Azula’s chest grow.

She didn’t really want to face her brother now, or the other thing; Zuko looked happy, genuinely happy with his boyfriend (or whatever they were) and it wasn’t fucking fair. Why did he get to have that? Why did he got to be gay and have a boyfriend and she didn’t, when he had been the one banished? Why if she was the lucky one, her father’s favorite and future heiress she couldn’t have _that_? It wasn’t fair; Zuko was the one lucky to be born, the family’s disappointment, and yet he got to have happiness and freedom. And she didn’t. it just wasn’t fair, she had done everything just right, she was perfect beyond compare and yet she felt trapped. It wasn’t fucking fair. She took back her hand from Katara’s, who just gave her a puzzled almost hurt look.

“I don’t want to meet your friends.” She said. Maybe it was rude but she didn’t care, she really didn’t want to deal with the whole thing seeing Zuko happy was provoking her.

“Oh, that’s fine…” they stood in silence for a moment. Agni Azula had just screwed this up, hadn’t she? Apparently, she hadn’t, because in no time Katara was smiling back.

“Fine, you don’t have to meet them. But you have to agree to celebrate with me.”

“What?”

“Yes! You did so much for me, none of this would have been able without your help. And I want to repay you. Let’s go out tomorrow! Just you and I, to a club. Or not, wherever you want is fine, but I invite you this time. You can’t say no. Please???” suddenly Azula didn’t know how to speak. What was she supposed to say to that? She wasn’t stupid though, of course, she would say yes. It was Katara after all.

“Fine. You choose the club, but we get ready in my apartment. Deal?”

“Deal.” Katara said, closing it with a handshake. So professional, Azula felt like a real businesswoman. Just as Katara was about to go back to her friends and giving her no time to react, she quickly grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her cheek.

It was weird how she felt like both, burning and frozen on the inside. On one hand she couldn’t move, she was just there frozen in time and the only thing that kept her grounded not reality was Katara’s frozen kiss against her cheek. On the other hand, it felt as if the small blaze Katara had started in her depths grew as big it consumed her heart and it set her skin on fire from where she had kissed her cheek.

As she returned to her apartment, she couldn’t help but to touch every five seconds the place where Katara’s lips had been against her skin. And if anyone dared to say a goofy smile adorned her face the whole way day, she would completely deny it. 

—

“Just, say still!”

“It tickles!” Katara answered between giggles. Agni, she was insufferable, but in a good way she never thought anyone could be.

It had been all so stupid; Azula had woken up with a text from Katara asking her for her address, which she sent, and she got there at three o’clock. Azula was very surprised by that because as far as she knew they were going to a club and no club was open at that time. She was mistaken, oh so mistaken. Apparently Katara’s way to say thank you was by buying them pizza, installing herself into Azula’s place, and watching movies with her feet on the other’s lap as they ate in company of a glass of wine. Azula found everything utterly ridiculous and had rolled her eyes more times in that day that in the whole week, but she couldn’t deny it was all very _cute_. Ugh, what was she thinking? Her? Cute. No. she wasn’t cute, she was powerful. A powerful businesswoman-to-be like her couldn’t just go around being cute. But Katara was an expert on being the pink in her cheeks and that scared the shit out of Azula.

Yet here they were, doing each other’s make-up on the other’s request. Azula understood now why Mai sat with her legs around Ty Lee when they did that. She could also see the appeal on doing it, but unlike Mai and Ty Lee who had gotten used to living with their “secret” crush on each other, for years now, this was quite new for Azula and she didn’t trust herself sitting on Katara. So, she chose the safe way, they were sitting in the floor in front of each other, their faces inches away. Katara’s lips were parted as Azula passed the soft lip bush over them.

After they were done doing their makeups they got changed. Apparently, Katara wanted their outfits to be a “last-minute surprise” so it was the last thing they had done. Azula ended up changing what she had originally planned because it wouldn’t match her makeup; Azula was a bit impressed by the others skills when she saw the blue flames she had painted over her eyelid, it looked badass but her red dress wouldn’t go well with it. She wore a simple black dress instead, it was little yes, with thin straps and a nice straight neck, besides it fitted her just well. She decided to let her hair lose for once. She looked gorgeous, as always. But while her look was electrifying Katara’s was hypnotizing. She wore a baby blue dress with crossed details, she wore her hair on a loose ponytail which accentuated her neck and highlighted her necklace. They were both wearing heels, so they were still almost at each other’s height, Katara being a bit taller than Azula. Maybe Katara’s dumb idea of getting dressed for the last part hadn’t been quite bad, she didn’t know how she would have survived if she had been looking like that while doing her makeup.

As soon as they arrived Azula decided she _needed_ to get some alcohol in her system before getting a fucking cardiac arrest from spending the whole taxi ride next to her friend looking like _that_. Who had given her the fucking right? Katara seemed to like the idea and they took together their first, from what would become many, shot of the night.

To be honest, Azula doesn’t remember much, just the basics; she remembers specifically how they had danced to a song she couldn’t remember the name of but they had gotten the time of their lives singing it together, then they had slow-danced to a not slow-dancing song, it had gone terrible because they had stumbled against many people, but she remembers only focusing on Katara’s eyes and watching the world outside them disappear. She remembers the way their bodies had moved in such sync it looked almost choreographed. She remembers when she saw Katara’s hair swinging loosely as the other took off her elastic and feeling a blush creep through her cheeks up till her ears. She remembers the small smoking pause they had made (more like she had made and Katara had been nice enough to go with her) and returning to the dancing floor. Azula didn’t remember specific details, but she remembered the feeling of being completely loose free. She remembers Katara crashing into the mattress of her room with her and saying something along the lines of “best night of my life”. She remembers herself muttering “You are my best friend” (which felt like a lie) and, the last thing she remembers, is Katara replying with an “I know. You too.”.

What woke up Azula the next day wasn’t the pulsing thud inside her head but rather the smell coming out her kitchen, something like bacon. Azula is smart enough to correlate the absence of another girl in her bed with the smell of breakfast. Azula looked down beneath the covers and found herself still dressed in the same dress she wore yesterday, which made sense since she didn’t even remember their way back home. She went to the kitchen to find Katara on some black shorts she may have probably found in her closet and a borrowed red t-shirt. Azula wondered why Katara stuck with her blue color scheme when she could pull off red (and any other color she decided to try) so well. Katara spot her and a smile illuminated her whole face.

“Hey!! I hope you are not mad I borrowed some clothes and took a shower. I stunk. I am doing breakfast, why don't you go take a shower and it’ll be ready when you are over.” She told her. Azula just nodded, being loss for words as it was usual when it was about Katara.

She does as she is told and takes a shower because, to be quite frank, she stunk to a mixture of alcohol, sweet and cigarettes as well. _Gross_. After she finished showering she came back to the kitchen, from where she could hear Katara’s voice in an almost angry tone. No, it wasn’t quite angry, she just sounded middle pissed, still, she had only heard a similar tone directed to her when they argued on their project; turned out both of them were pretty stubborn and neither liked giving in. she couldn’t quite figure who she was talking to, though. Just a couple of phrases along the “yes I am fine”, ”I told you I was going out”, “I don’t have to report to you everything I do”. She had suspected it may be her father at first, but after the last thing she heard she highly doubted it, she couldn’t picture herself talking like that to her father, the mere thought gave her chills.

She decided to make her entrance when she heard the conversation was over, it seemed something private and she had already done too much by peeking. Katara looked not as cheerful as she had a few minutes ago, but she wasn’t quite mad either. Azula gave her a questioning look.

“It’s my brother. I told him I was going out yesterday, but he is making the biggest deal on it. On why I didn’t arrive to sleep, why I hadn’t told him who I was going with and all that kind of stuff.” Katara told her. Azula felt as if something was scaping from her, some connection she had yet to make, but quickly let it go.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Was her answer. She didn’t really know what else to considering she didn’t have a good relationship with her own brother, it wasn’t like she could give advice of sorts or anything.

“Yeah, his name is Sokka and he's one year older than me. He is graduating from physics engineer next semester. He is usually very cool, don’t get me wrong. I love him with all my soul but sometimes he is too... overprotective with me.” Azula wondered what that must be like, thinking your brother is cool and love him and all that.

“I am a sister too.” Was all she said, because something in Katara made her open up about the subject that had been putting a hole in her heart for so long now.

“You are? You had never told me either you had a brother. What is he like?”

“A failure.” She answers automatically. She caught the face Katara did to her answer, even if she had tried to conceal it.

The truth was Azula wasn’t quite sure now if she knew the answer to the question. Ever since she had started college, she had learnt that most of the ideas she had weren’t even her own but were planted there by her father. It was still tedious to know what was entirely hers and what wasn’t, but she was working on that. But her thoughts on her brother were still a delicate matter, she had always been told he was a failure and she had to be everything he wasn’t because of it. She knew her father loved her because she wasn’t _him_ ; she was smarter and better than him. But if she wasn’t? would he love her the same? She knew the answer, no matter how much she tried to tell herself she didn’t. But last time she saw Zuko he seemed happy. Like actually happy. He had friends with him, a partner and as far as she knew he was doing fine in his major. He was done trying to please their father and that had gotten him freedom and happiness. Azula didn’t have that. And she wanted to, but she wasn’t sure she had the balls to did what Zuko had done, much less after seeing the result; Azula had a very pretty face for it to be burned. And if that was the case, who would know? Who would be there for her? Who would call her uncle? She was alone and sticking to her dad was the only thing she knew. Being a monster, as her mother had so nicely put it years ago, was all she was good at.

“I am sure he has some good qualities.”

“Yeah, not that they matter, though. He is a failure in my father’s eyes. And he and I… let’s just say we don’t have a good relationship.”

“I am sorry to hear that. Is he still around? Have you tried talking to him?” There it was. Katara’s naiveness gotten mixed along with her positive attitude. It would have been really in infuriating had it been anyone else.

“I am not sure how much a talk could improve.” She answered as she took the plate Katara was offering to her and the other one took the seat in front of her

“Well that’s the thing, isn’t it? You can’t expect things to change with one time you talk to him, it is more like a constant effort you know. Like us.” Azula almost choked with that last part.

“ _Us_?”

“Yeah, we didn’t like each other very much at first, right? But with proper time and time together well… here we are.” Azula was a bit taken aback, none of them had really recognized their somewhat rocky start, which hadn’t been all that bad (could have been worse) but surely hadn’t been the best one. Azula didn’t reply and just focused on eating what Katara had prepared for her. it was silent but not in an uncomfortable way, nothing that involved Katara was ever really uncomfortable, in the contrary, she made the dullest of silences feel like home, the coldest colds feel fresh and the hottest hots feel warm.

There was, however, another reason Azula didn’t really answer back; what the other girl had said rounded in her head: “here we are”. Where exactly was that? Sharing breakfast and wearing each other’s clothes? Doing each other makeup and dancing together all night? Allowing herself to feel less like a monster when she was around her? Or maybe the fear that Katara was the blush that crept and painted her cheeks and the softness that came within? Wherever they were, whatever they were Azula did not ever want to let it go from her.

Katara had left shortly after their breakfast “or her brother would definitely kill her now”, she had said. It was okay, she had stayed for much longer than Azula would have expected her to but so much shorter than she would have wanted. Ever since the other girl’s presence had left her apartment Azula hadn’t stopped thinking about what she had told her about her brother; Katara had given her a chance even though she knew she came off as mean and rude ~~, maybe she could give her idiotic brother a chance~~ maybe she could give herself a chance to try to talk to Zuko. Maybe she owed it to herself, to try to have some kind of actual relationship with her big brother.

Along with all the pacing through her thoughts a realization with a terrible timing in hand; if she were to talk to Zuko it had to be today. _Why_? Because she had just decided it, and Azula was someone who when she knew what she wanted went for it as soon as she knew it. Sure, she could be patient like she had been with her father’s business, cooking the plan in low fire for years now, but when she could get what she wanted at the moment she would go for it, besides the nerve and will would leave her if she didn’t do it now. And that represented a problem because the Jasmine Dragon closed at Five on weekends and currently it was four fucking forty-five. She grabbed her purse and stepped out of the apartment as fast as she could, the tea shop was just a couple of blocks away from where she lived, but still was a bit of a 25-minute walk with no hurry. She hoped she could cut the time and reach the place before her brother’s shift ended (do not ask how or why Azula knew of Zuko’s schedule and the closing time of the shop, because then she would have to admit things she was barely making peace with.).

Panting, she reached The Jasmine Dragon just in time to spot Zuko turning the sign from “Open” to “Close”. she stopped in her tracks a few steps from the actual door; was she actually doing this? What was she going to do? What was she going to say? Would Zuko even want to talk? And what the hell were they supposed to talk about? Could she carry an actual conversation with her brother without envy and anger getting the worst of her? Nevertheless, Azula was no coward, she could and would face this, no matter the result. She got in the shop.

“Sorry, we are closed.” Zuko said with an irritated voice. He was cleaning the remaining tables with an exasperated hurry. _Huh_. She cleaned her throat to draw his attention to her.

“Can’t you read? We are closed, come back tomorrow or some other day.” If Zuko and Azula shared one thing in common was their irritability, but whereas her brother had null control over his emotions and cracked up very (very) fast, Azula knew of the importance of restrain and control… except when it came to her brother. Agni, he was so annoying, and she just couldn’t help but answer unkindly to him, well… so good for a first try.

“How come after all these years you still suck at customer service, Zuzu?” She said with that condescending tone she knew it just pushed his right buttons. Zuko almost dropped the spray he was using for cleaning and turned around quick as lightning. He gave her a stern look.

“What are you doing here Azula?” he asked, clenching his jaw. Honestly, it would be kind of funny how worked out she could get Zuko with just a couple of words, if she hadn’t been trying to have a conversation for once.

“What? Can’t a sister visit her dear brother at work?” she wasn’t putting much from her part either, to be honest. But it came almost as an instinct now, to bother him on sight. Was that a sibling thing? Or was it the monster inside of her that wouldn’t leave Zuko alone?

“Yeah, sure. As if it was your case.” Actually, that was for once what she was doing, no hidden intentions underneath it but sure, let Zuko believe the worst from her.

“You wound me, Zuzu” because despite him doing it a little, she couldn’t show that. And everybody knew that the best way for hiding the truth was saying it out loud, especially from someone who always lied.

“I have no time for your games today. Leave.” Ugh, why was it so hard with him? Why was being not-mean came so hard?? Zuko was about to disappear into the kitchen door and Azula knew that if she let him go, she would lose this chance and she hadn’t run her way to here to be ignored like that.

“Wait!” Zuko stopped in his tracks. What was she saying now? She knew she could have played some cards to get him to stay, she could have said something about their mother, or lied about their father or taunt him with his boyfriend. She could aim to all the right places where not only would made him stay but would hurt him as well, she was very well at doing that. but that hadn’t been her intention by coming here and she wanted to try things the good way, at least for once. 

“I did come to talk. I promise, no games at all.” And that was it, wasn’t it? The decisive point: she was giving Zuko the upper hand for once, she was being honest and open for once. Zuko could just not turn back and leave her there and that would have been it, he had the choice in which way they would go today and Azula was scared; her triumph wasn’t depending on her and that alone was scarier than any other thing she had ever done before. It was ironic, she had always lived under the premise that trust was for fools and fear was the only reliable way and the one time she trusted someone else’s with the result of the situation came with fear for her. Zuko didn’t left, he just stood there as if he was waiting for her to say something else.

“I… I don’t quite know what else to say. But I am here, right? And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.” Trying to what? She wasn’t quite sure. Maybe apologize, maybe be a good sister for once, maybe to safe what remained of their relationship, maybe be a better person. Maybe she was trying to recognize her father had done wrong by turning them against each other from such a young age, maybe she was trying to say she didn’t quite think he was the disappointment their father claimed him to be, maybe she was trying to get help from him to reach the freedom he had, the happiness that had been denied for her for so long. She didn’t really know what she was trying, _but at least she was trying_. 

Zuko turned around and his glance had softened from the stern one to one more sincere. She forced herself to hold his glare, she was not backing down now.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked softer this time.

“I don’t really know.” She admitted. How was she supposed to do this exactly? What were they supposed to say? Maybe they should start by covering some basic stuff first; Azula didn’t know much of her brother’s life after his banishment, just the few basics. “Maybe we can just talk about our lives.”

“Our lives?” she rolled her eyes.

“yes Zuko, you know, those things that happen daily to us? Or do you have a better conversation starter?” and she was back to being mean, great. But Zuko didn’t seem to mind much. He just shrugged and indicated to sit on the nearest table. She sat down but he didn’t.

“Do you want something to drink for our _talk_?” he asked, still saying the word “talk” as if it was a forbidden thing for them to had, maybe it was. “I could grab us some tea?” Azula considered her option and seemed to reconsider.

“Do you have something stronger? I don’t think I can quite go through a whole talk with you entirely sobber.” She asked, being the second time in two days that she trusted in alcohol to give her some kind of confidence boost.

“Let me make a call first and I’ll come back to you I think there’s a bottle of Sake here somewhere.” She smirked with no malice underneath it for the first time in her life.

“Perfect”

—

At 8:00 am of the last Friday of the semester a 13 pages essay on an “Analysis the media portrayal and coverage on hate-crimes against women” had been delivered to the professor’s desk. It had been longer than he had asked them but considering that the first draft had covered 17 pages they had done the best they could to shorten it. Now all they had to do was wait for the professor to grade it and to reflect their extra credit on the system.

Azula found herself on Katara’s bedroom as many times before that first time; they had made and habit out of studying together until late and Azula crashing in from Thursday to Friday. She even had a couple of clothes there now, but her pajamas; she still used the things Katara had borrowed her the first night. Suki had never complained, Azula had almost never talked to her but when she did, she seemed nice and friendly towards her. Besides, there were times she didn’t even arrived and stayed in Yue’s room instead, so overall it was fine.

Both girls’ nerves could be sensed in the thick atmosphere it created in the tiny room; Azula knew Katara was worried about the correction of their grade and the extra credit they might get. So far, they still had a 73 and if the professor didn’t like their essay it would remain to be a 73. Azula knew it was a logical thing to be nervous of and she would be too if another thing wasn’t quite bugging her at the time; it was the last time she would reunite with Katara to write their essay for a class they had miraculously coincided in; what would be of them the next semester? Would they still get together and do sleepovers even if they didn’t have a paper to work on? Would they still be friends?

Ugh, it had all been her stupid brother’s fault; she hadn’t even considered those things until he pointed them out. They had reached that point already when they would trust each other with details of their life. Azula couldn’t believe how good it was going, actually. They had been following some kind of non-discussed routine in which she would come every Saturday after he closed, and he would stop by her apartment on Wednesdays and they would just… talk. Sure, there were times they ended up arguing and not talking for a week, but they would come back the next as if nothing had happened, which was more than Azula had asked for. Recently he had talked to her about his boyfriend and how they met on an elective and now Zuko was worried on what would it be for them the next semester they didn’t have that time together. Azula thought his fears were dumb, if they were already dating they would certainly find a time to spend together as they did on the days they didn’t have classes together.

But the situation was different for her; she didn’t have a romantic relationship with Katara, just a friendship that had been held by their common assignment, what if they couldn’t hold it without a common goal? Would Katara still do time for her? Would what they have gone as easy as it had arrived? Azula hoped not, but she knew that regardless of what the result where she would be haunted by Katara all her life.

However, they had done it. They had ended their essay and concluded a successful semester. They shouldn’t have to be worrying about the future at the moment, they should be celebrating (besides if this was the last time Azula stayed with Katara on a Friday she would make it last as much as she could, and she was determined to enjoy every second of it.)

She ordered a pizza and some sodas, sure being friends with the RA must have its advantages, but Azula was not about to get alcohol in in front of her face, she was already sneaking it to sleep in, the least decency she could have was not bringing alcohol in, besides she wanted to remember every single detail of the evening, she didn’t want to blame the alcohol later for missing some details, like the way Katara’s smile always reached her eyes first, or how beautiful she looked with her hair down, or the way her eyes glistened when she recognized the song that was playing on by the first notes, or the way she snorted when trying not to laugh at a story Azula was telling her that wasn’t supposed to be funny, or the ways her lips looked so kissable being covered by her blueberry-transparent gloss. Platonically speaking, _obviously_.

On Fridays Azula didn’t meet Ty Lee and Mai for lunch, because the first one had cheerleader practice and Azula wasn’t in love with her to stay watching her three hours under the sun as Mai did, so she had practically her afternoon free to spend it all with Katara. The afternoon’s hours speeded by like seconds; they had been there since their classes had ended, one second it was 1pm and the other it was already six o’clock. Azula really wished the time went slower until it completely stopped and they would stay together frozen in this moment. It had been all very exciting, despite being almost routine, but something about that day felt _enticing_. Had Katara always looked at her like that? was she looking at Katara with the same fire behind the other’s eyes? Katara interrupted a history she was telling her by putting a lock of hair behind her ear and she felt herself blush. Katara was blushing as well.

Before meeting Katara she didn’t remember a time she blushed half as much, but the blood in her cheeks never seemed to abandon them when the other was nearby, and she had made some kind of peace with that, with the knowledge that the pink in her cheeks belonging to Katara and Katara only. “Can I braid your hair?” Katara asked so quietly it had been lost in the noise, but Azula was looking at her lips so she knew what had been asked. She nodded as she accommodated herself in front of the other. Katara grabbed a small amount of her hair from the front and began braiding it. Azula didn’t remember the last time she had let someone touch her hair or that someone had wanted to touch her hair. It had probably been her mother before categorizing her like a monster. She never let anyone touch her hair, the only time a person other than her did was when she went to the salon to get her hair cut, but only cut. She didn’t let anyone brush it, or style it, not even brush it. And here she was, rejoicing in Katara’s soft touches against her hair. Katara’s face was too close to hers, her eyebrows frowning and her glossy lips open in concentration. Azula bit hers, if they were to kiss would Azula’s lips be glossy too?

She couldn’t think of anything else but the girl in front of her and how she made her heart ache. How much she ached to be hers, to be held in her arms and trapped between her lips. To be always looked at by those brown eyes and for her never to leave her side. She had never let her thoughts get as far as they had gotten, but she could no longer help it. For the first time, she felt herself blacking out what if’s and musts and she was just there, a girl in front of another girl. Not Azula the perfect girl her father wanted her to be, not a monster as her mother had thought of her, not the worst nor the best sister, nothing. She was just her and Katara was just Katara. 

Next thing she knows she loses control and finally kisses her.

Katara’s lips were soft against hers and did taste like blueberry along with her own personal scent. Katara tasted like sea breeze and freedom. Her lips moved too and suddenly Azula felt herself being held; her hands were cupping her face with much more softness than what she thought she deserved. Azula didn’t quite knew what to do with hers, but Katara took her other hand into hers and she found her place. Azula had never felt anything quite like this in her life, she felt lighter somehow, free and loved. She felt utterly and completely loved, but at the same time, she felt so much love for Katara that her chest might just rip itself open, unable to contain it all. They could have spent hours that way, lips pressing against each other and soft gasps being shared, and maybe they would have, maybe they would have forever stayed that way had it not been for what happened next.

The door’s room got opened suddenly and Katara’s roommate stood there, but it was too late. Azula broke off the kiss and found a pair of green eyes flashing at her.

“Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t know you were… I’ll leave you alone.” Suki said as she left them and closed the door again.

Oh no. no, no, no, no, no, no.

It was too late wasn’t it? She had seen them; she had seen them _kissing_. It had happened, Azula had kissed Katara and she had kissed her back. Agni what the fuck had she just done? It was not like Azula at all to lose control or to act in such a reckless and stupid way as she had. She knew it had been wrong, she wasn’t like that. And someone had seen it. It was just a matter of time before rumors grow and Azula’s life came to an end, fuck what if her father found out? She knew what he would think of her, she knew what he was capable of. Agni, why hadn’t she thought this through? She had fucked up, massively for a million reasons.

“I-I have to go.” She said as she quickly took her things and exited the room as fast as she could. She could still feel a tangling feeling against her lips, but she refuses to acknowledge it at all.

“Azula wait!” she heard Katara yell her name, but she couldn’t stop now. She needed to get back on track, she needed to get as far from her as possible and she needed to do it now. It was almost funny how just a few moments back she had found herself short of breath but for such opposite reasons. 

“Azula! Wait, we have to talk” Katara had caught up to her fast pace. She didn’t dare looking her in the eye, but she had to face her, she knew that much. Or else it would never go away; _she_ wouldn’t go away.

“About what” she asked back. Maybe if she managed to convince herself nothing had happened back there she would manage to make it true. Besides there were no actual proofs it had even happened right? Just a witness and them, and it was her word against Katara’s. She had already lost so much, she needed to win this back.

“How about what just happened?” Katara asked, visibly irritated. Just… fuck her. Fuck her and her pretty eyes, and her beautiful lips, and her gorgeous face and her overall. She wanted to hate her for making her feel this way.

“Nothing happened!!” she answered. It hadn’t happened, it hadn’t happened, it hadn’t happened, it hadn’t happened, it hadn’t happened, it hadn’t…

“Azula, please we could-“ the other one said. Her tone desperate, but she couldn’t allow herself to be weak before her again.

“No, we can’t. Because nothing happened. I just… tripped. It wasn’t like that! I am not…!” she couldn’t bring herself to end that sentence, though. She wasn’t like that, was she? She couldn’t like girls; she had had a boyfriend and everything. Sure, said boyfriend had never appealed her much and she had never found herself quite charmed, but he had been his boyfriend. Girls who liked girls didn’t have boyfriends. But girls who didn’t like girls didn’t fantasize about their lips and their soft eyes all the time, right?

“Just, forget it happened. It didn’t.” with that being said, she left. If she could see tears in Katara’s eyes, then she would spend her whole way home convincing herself otherwise.

Her way back home was longer that it had ever been, despite the hurried pace she carried with her. Thought assaulted her head in such a merciless way; she just wanted to get back into her place, safe inside four walls and her loneliness. She wished she could rewind the whole day and have never kissed Katara in the first place. She couldn’t risk losing it all. What was the point? She had an image to take care of, and a secure future ahead. All she had needed to do was to keep on track of the path her father had put her in, a path that didn’t involve kissing pretty girls. She had always known she must likely would marry out of benefit to her company, love had never been in the table. Why would it now? And her father didn’t even ask for that much in exchange of the family name, perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect path. That was all she was required to be: perfect. And she had fucked it all up. She had failed to be what he wanted. What had been the point in going against all her father wanted her to be and kissing Katara like that? it wasn’t like something could ever develop from it, it wasn’t like they could date and even if they could, Azula wasn’t sure she even knew how to love someone else.

As soon as she got her door closed, she turned the lights on only to find someone waiting for her already inside.

“Good evening, Azula”

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed. The last thing she had expected was to find her father in the fucking shadows waiting for her in her own apartment.

“Language.” He reprimanded her. The universe _must_ be fucking with her, this was the cherry on top of the day she was having. Now she had her father to be dealt with. Great.

“Sorry, you… I wasn’t expecting you.” She answered honestly. She was about to say how he had startled her, but even in her recent shook she knew better than to phrasing things in a way they directly blamed him, instead she took the fall, because of course in her father’s mind it was inexplicable how he, lurking in the shadows on a random day, had surprised _her_. No, surely it must be her fault for not expecting him.

“Can’t a father come visit his own daughter?” No. He never did that.

“A phone call in advance would have been nice.” She replied. Today had been filled with stupid decisions on her part, answering back to her father was just another one to add to the list.

“Enough with the pleasantries, do you know why am I here, Azula?” Of fucking course, he wasn’t there to just visit her. Azula’s mind was racing miles per hour, many things were happening at once and she just couldn’t give her father what she wanted; a correct answer, for she didn’t know it.

“No.” she answered a bit ashamed of herself.

“I am almost surprised, I thought you better than that.” Apparently, she wasn’t. “I am here because something in your grades caught my attention. Can you figure out what?”

Shit. But that wasn’t quite right, the final grades weren’t even reported yet, she still had a few exams revisions to attend, there was no way he had gotten a way to get her notes even before her. unless, of course, he did. Azula knew her father’s capabilities to get information was beyond hers and when he wanted something done, he _got_ it done. She knew that playing the ignorant card was no good now, he knew of that atrocious grade in her Psychology class, she didn’t know how but he did. Even if it wasn’t final yet she knew what to expect.

“I think I know, yes. But it isn’t final, I got it fixed.” She answered, hoping that maybe her father would find pride into her solving of things.

“And is that supposed to counter the fact that you got such shameful grade in the first place?” Azula kept quiet. She wasn’t about to say that he wasn’t supposed to find out about it, that it wasn’t fair of him to question her methods to achieve results when she knew all the illicit affairs the company did.

“And not only I get to receive such terrible news from you only for alter to receive this image. Tell me, Azula, is that what you were doing in order to receive such grade? Clubbing?”

Azula couldn’t help but stare at the image it was presented to her, it was a picture of her and Katara in the club from that time; they both looked so happy, so free in the company of the other. Katara had been smiling and Azula had been looking at her as if she had hung the stars in the sky, just looking at her hurt right now.

But she couldn’t tell any of that to her dad, or to tell him that that picture had been after her terrible grade, it would make no difference to him, he just wanted her to feel shame for her actions, all her actions.

“I am sorry.” She muttered. She was, Agni she was so, _so_ sorry for everything.

“No. I am me who should be sorry for thinking you could handle such responsibility; it was my mistake to think you were capable to take decisions when it is clear that you are not.” And that had finally done it for her, how dares him say things like that when he had no idea how much effort she put? How many nights had she stayed awake improving, stiving for excellence?

“But… that’s not fair! I worked really hard for that subj-”

“Azula, silence yourself!”

“But I did everythin-“

“Azula!” she knew that look, she had seen it before just once and it had been the last time her brother hadn’t had his scar. She was not about to find out what came next for her if she didn’t obey. So, she just lowered her head, but before doing so she could notice him staring at something in her hair. _The braids_. “You will be taking what I tell you to take for the next semester. And my decision is final. Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes, father.” She answered, like the good girl she was.

“Good.” Was the last thing he said, and not even bothering to look in which state he had left his daughter, he left. The picture laid forgotten on the floor

Azula kept standing there for what felt like hours, she could feel her mascara run down her face and her tears rounding all her face until they reached her chin and fell to the ground. But she couldn’t move. She thought of everything that had happened that day and that made her want to scream, and shout, and tear her whole place apart and start a fucking fire. But she just couldn’t move. She had fucked up continuously, repeatedly through the day. What had been patient years of no mistakes had come down on one single fucking day. And she just couldn’t move.

But when she did there was a single thought in her hair, as she took her scissors from a kitchen cabinet and went to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked as she felt; unhinged. She looked at her hair, Katara had done her various braids, but the ones that had captivated the most her attention were the one on her right bang and another on the left side of her hair. She remembered the trance she had been in while the other one’s skilled fingers combed through her hair and how undeservedly loved she felt. She did not feel loved at the moment. She grabbed the scissors and cut the braids. Katara cupping her face. _Snip_. “such shameful grade”. _Snip_. Throwing her future away in just one day. _Snip_. Their photo at the club. _Snip_. Her father giving her the same look he gave Zuko before burning him. _Snip_. Katara’s lips against hers. _Snip. Snip. Snip._

Her breath was uneven and arhythmical what she ended having cut all the braids in her hair. She looked herself in the mirror, she looked terrible. But it had been her doing, no one else’s. She had done this to herself and if a scissor cutting her hair was the only thing she could find the confront of control in now, she would take it. She tried to convince herself she was fine with it, with her unevenly chopped hair, her mascara tears, and her smudged lipstick. But the more she looked at her reflection the more hatred against it, against her she held. How had she been so stupid to think she would be able to get it through? Everything. Katara, her father’s standards nothing was for her to reach, for her to have. Zuko got to have love and a nice life while she was breaking her back trying to be the daughter her father wanted her to be and, somehow, nothing was ever enough. No matter how much she did or did not, it was _never_ enough. Not for him. And Katara, the only person who seemed not to ask anything from her she had pushed her away, all in a useless try not to lose her father’s love.

When the truth was and always had been, that he would never love her, not at least in the way she wanted to be loved; unconditionally, without having to prove her worth every two seconds, without perfection in hand.

Azula couldn’t take it anymore and she punched the mirror in front of her, trying to quiet all the voices in her head. Her hand started pulsing as blood started spilling from where she had punched. It wasn’t much, though, she probably had a couple of buried glasses in it. She didn’t know what to do, but for the first time, she knew who to run to.

The jasmine dragon usually had much more people on a Friday night, but taking into consideration this was the last one people would have likely gone to celebrate to a less tranquil place. Azula was just glad there were no people around, so her humiliation didn’t reach any further. She came inside and to continue with her bad luck it wasn’t Zuko who was attending this time, her luck wasn’t that bad either and it wasn’t her uncle, but Lu Ten.

As soon as he spotted her his face turned from something relaxed to immediate worry.

“Is Zuko around? Can you call him?” she asked before he even dared to ask her a question.

Lu Ten continued to be her dear cousin but she didn’t feel with enough energy to explain her shitty state. Lu Ten nodded and disappeared through the kitchen as he looked for her brother. He must have alluded to him her state because Zuko came with a worried face even before looking directly at her.

“Azula? What happened?” And maybe in other circumstances she would have laughed it off and say she was fine. But she wasn’t and she knew that. however, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him everything that had happened in just one day, and as soon as he was near enough, she threw herself to him and began crying. Loudly. Zuko seemed taken aback, but eventually, he reacted and put his arms around her. she felt her legs giving up and drawing them both to the floor, Zuko never let go of her.

Eventually the sobbing mess she was calmed down and she could breathe again. She focused on her surroundings; she was on the tea shop’s floor with Zuko’s arms around her. A few minutes later she would find herself on a table, with Lu Ten bandaging her hand while Zuko prepared her a calming tea. Then they would both sit down and listened as she went through her hell for a day, from kissing her best friend and realizing in the process she was no way as straight as she thought she was (“I don’t even think I like boys, in fact”) to her father’s unexpected visit and scold. Zuko was the one who asked more questions among the two of them, Lu Ten was quieter. In the end, Zuko had offered her to stay with him for the night, she had not declined. She didn’t feel like being alone for once. As she closed her eyes, begging for the morning to come and wash away everything that had been done during the day, the last thing she thought of was a pair of brown eyes.

—

“Can I come in?” she asked.

In front of her, Katara was looking at her with a mixture of anger and pain. She felt so bad for being the one responsible for that look, but she was here now, after thinking it through for the entire weekend, she decided the least she could do was apologize. Katara only nodded as she stepped aside to let her in.

As it was their last week on campus, Katara’s stuff begun to disappear only to be replaced by big boxes with her belonging on the inside. The realization that this may be the last time they spoke to each other ever again hit Azula harder than intended. She took a deep breath.

“Katara I… I wanted to apologize for what happened last Friday. I shouldn’t have denied you like that. I am ready to talk about it now if you want, I am sorry for the way I reacted.” The other didn’t answer right away. What if she didn’t want anything left to do with her? What if she had been enough to drive away even the best person she knew?

“Okay, I am listening.” She finally answered, silencing her doubts. Azula let go of a breath she hadn’t quite realized she had been holding for now. 

“I am sorry. I… I got scared, I guess. There is some personal stuff to it as well, but I am already working on it.” That much was true. After her nervous breakdown, she (with Zuko’s and Lu Ten’s help) had been dedicated to finding a therapist, she began her sessions the very Sunday.

“But other than those, I was scared of losing you. You are the best thing that has happened to me in the whole semester. Screw that, in my whole life ever since beginning college and I didn’t want to lose what we had.”

“So, if you are willing to forgive me, I think I would like to be your friend again if that’s what you want. But if you don’t, that is fine as well. I understand.” She stated while praying she wouldn’t decide on the second.

“Is that what you want? For us to be just friends?” Katara’s question took her by surprise, she hadn’t quite been expecting that. nevertheless, she let herself dream of what she really wanted for once.

“What? Do you think we can… we could be more?” she asked, still a bit incredulous. Was Katara asking her what she thought she was asking???

“Do you want to be more?” she asked back. Ugh this, the whole _communication_ thing, was hard.

“I… I wouldn’t know how to. I have never loved no one else like that. like this.” She admitted, and it was true. If Katara decided they were worth a shot as something more she would be scared as well. she had never had something so pure and beautiful as they had, and it was wonderful but fragile. And she didn’t know if she trusted herself not to break it.

“I am not asking you if you would know how to. I have never had a girlfriend before, you know?” Katara blushed and she was sure she did as well. She had spilled a big word. _Girlfriends_. Agni was there a real chance for them? “But I think we could make it if we tried. If that is what you want, If _I_ am what you want.” Katara said, unaware that she was what Azula wanted and more, so much more.

Brave Katara, funny Katara, pretty Katara, naive Katara, dumb Katara, stunning Katara, smart Katara, everything good or bad Katara. _Her_ Katara. Katara. Katara.

“You are. You are” she said as she embraced the other girl in a hug, which the other reciprocated as well, she couldn’t help a few tears spill down. Katara raised her hands to her hair as she soothed it. Katara buried her face in Azula’s neck crook and everything felt in perfect place.

“You cut your hair” she mentioned.

“I had a nervous breakdown,” Azula answered. Along with therapy came a new hairstyle; a short bob styled in an asymmetrical way was what she had now. She liked it and it seemed Katara did as well.

“What?” concern could be heard from her tone and maybe Azula could have been less casual about it, or phrased it quite differently. But in this magical bliss, she found herself immersed in, she couldn’t have cared less.

“There is plenty of time later to tell you about it. I would like to kiss you now.”

Katara smiled as she closed the space between their lips. And it was just as magical as that first time, with the exception that Azula was no longer scared of loving the girl in front of her with her whole heart. 

—

_Epilogue_

So much had changed in one year it was still hard for Azula to believe that this got to be now her life. There had been three main, cataclysmic events that had marked Azula’s life in the last year so far:

Number one, Azula had begun going to therapy, which apparently, she really needed. It wasn’t a steady journey, but she was traveling it. Something’s came easy, others didn’t as much. The important thing was that she hadn’t had another nervous breakdown since the first one and that was good enough for her. she was healing and along with her, her relationship with her brother, her cousin, and even her uncle had improved. Which brings us to the second event:

Azula had cut ties with her father. It hadn’t been easy, but it was a necessity. Long story short she had told him to fuck himself before winter break, which sure, had left her without his resources but at least she was free now from his strings. She decided to end her major in business, she was too far in that to give it up now, but with a minor in psychology. She had sold her apartment, which was to her name, and used the money and her business title up to some good; Uncle Iroh had offered to pay for her last year of college, which she had of course accepted with the condition that she would let her repay him; with the apartment’s money, they had made an expansion to the Jasmine Dragon, where now she worked as well.

And what had happened first; she had officially started her relationship with Katara and because they were both dumbasses they had started dating on the week when winter break begun, which meant they spent their first month into the relationship apart. But they had managed, facetime and calls couldn’t do justice to having face-to-face Katara’s pretty face, but they had survived and now, one year later they stood stronger together than ever. It was wild how well they complemented each other and how much they brought into their lives. Azula loved Katara and Katara loved Azula. And that was that.

Azula never thought she would be so grateful over a 73 grade.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to give special thanks to @theclaravoyant for clearing so much my doubts on USA’S college; It was such hard research and I may not have gotten entirely correct, but bear with me through it please and let’s pretend I know how it works. Rose for always cheering me up and supporting me <3, and @rllyaangrlly, whose art inspired this fic and introduced me to the song this is inspired in too (go check it out!!) https://rllyaangrlly.tumblr.com/post/635358694713049088/azutara).


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